cause,
*SCREAMS*
IM NOT GOING ANY WHERE!!!!
no Im not!
ps-I love my lemon tree. <3
(hope you could make some sense out of it now pallo..!! ;)
Im not going anywhere!!)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Lapse.
I love you like the piggies love their mud!! <3<3<3
I do..I do..I do. *ssrruppp*
^.^
now I need a hug!!!
Huggies?!
Pampers?!
Diapers?!
Nappies?!
err. anyone?? :(
& now I feel stupid.
pfft
.GO back to integration fool. :/
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The Girl that I almost Was.
Every time I turn the lights on
thinking I'm alone, my pale lemon
Walls betray me.I see that girl, that
girl I see in the realms of my
silver screen.
The girl that I almost was.
Now I'm blasé.
As I look into her eyes
she refuses to look into mine.
Hiding secrets, red lies, betrayal,
are they?
you_shall_never_know.
And of all the colours that I see
in them, its purple that refuses
to show.
I follow her inebriated gaze.
I wonder whats on her mind.
Flashbacks in negative, I long
to tell her the party has end.
She wont hear me.
Lost herself she has in those
cataract dreams. Perversions
all they show... & from now on
I shall remain quiet.
Long louche curls and that mystery
that shall remain untold.
All that jollity,just a facade.
And if I tell the world what
I see today, they
wont believe in me, believe in
you believe in
the girl that I almost was.
The washed away kohl from that
convalescent gaze pains my
heart. It pins me down.
Shes chasing broken-winged-butterflies.
I see no way out.
The ends of these lips and the
treacly stuff that I don't let
them speak curse me today.
Pressed down upon the other side.
I don't trust them any longer
And they don't trust mine.
[This is what a five month blockage gave way to. Written in a fit of god knows what, raw matter that I didn't wish to edit, so don't expect anything out of this one. I was just glad I could write.]
thinking I'm alone, my pale lemon
Walls betray me.I see that girl, that
girl I see in the realms of my
silver screen.
The girl that I almost was.
Now I'm blasé.
As I look into her eyes
she refuses to look into mine.
Hiding secrets, red lies, betrayal,
are they?
you_shall_never_know.
And of all the colours that I see
in them, its purple that refuses
to show.
I follow her inebriated gaze.
I wonder whats on her mind.
Flashbacks in negative, I long
to tell her the party has end.
She wont hear me.
Lost herself she has in those
cataract dreams. Perversions
all they show... & from now on
I shall remain quiet.
Long louche curls and that mystery
that shall remain untold.
All that jollity,just a facade.
And if I tell the world what
I see today, they
wont believe in me, believe in
you believe in
the girl that I almost was.
The washed away kohl from that
convalescent gaze pains my
heart. It pins me down.
Shes chasing broken-winged-butterflies.
I see no way out.
The ends of these lips and the
treacly stuff that I don't let
them speak curse me today.
Pressed down upon the other side.
I don't trust them any longer
And they don't trust mine.
[This is what a five month blockage gave way to. Written in a fit of god knows what, raw matter that I didn't wish to edit, so don't expect anything out of this one. I was just glad I could write.]
Friday, February 20, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Quondam Lies.
"I'll ask you something ..umm philosophical?"
"yyaaaa(in a very disintrested tone) ..umm..no...no."
"guess I'll just end up doing phyics honours you know..and that..."
"ok! ask"
"whats in front of you?"
"a wall."
"you get a zero on the philosophical part!! you know you.."
"I was staring at the computer screen when I said that.."
"I dont understand...."
"me neither."
-And of all the colours that I see
in them, Its purple that refuses
to show.-
"yyaaaa(in a very disintrested tone) ..umm..no...no."
"guess I'll just end up doing phyics honours you know..and that..."
"ok! ask"
"whats in front of you?"
"a wall."
"you get a zero on the philosophical part!! you know you.."
"I was staring at the computer screen when I said that.."
"I dont understand...."
"me neither."
-And of all the colours that I see
in them, Its purple that refuses
to show.-
>>Flashbacks in negative.
R E W I N D
"Don't lean on me cause Im losing sense and direction.."
You've been thinking 'bout me today havent you, cause youve been playing on my mind all day..your essence still fresh around me, I silently smiled to myself as the bygones keep comming back to me - some so tenderly and some like razors cutting right through me.
They say when you really enjoy the things happening around time just flies past. Fast.
For me thats not how things work.
Things slow down to such a pace that I can trace down your words,your fear, your touch..
When I first met you I was drawn to you gentle demeanor,your choice of words,the intellegence,immersed in simplicity.Sarcasm.Goodness.Your verve.Descency.Your charm and how you beautifully proved me wrong bringing me back to the reality I some how had lost, but respected. And the more I got to know you, the more you turned out to be the person I thought you were. Sometimes fragile, sometimes strong. I wished to hide you in the arms of my gaze and never let go. You were perfect, in all respects. I so intimidated.
You taught me how to spell lemons and coincidence. Showed how music could heal. That, sentences that end with sighs are the most beautiful. Nerd and naive dont always go.And that Mohd. Rafi does have the most amazing songs.:) And the best thing of all that I love in you is that you would never let me do anything wrong.ever.
With you by my side,on my desktop & in my diary pages.. I drifted to a world I never knew exsisted and drifted untill I realised I wasn't me anymore.
R E W I N D
"Hindi mei, matlab loving things?!! ;)"
-sigh-
Yes pallo! loving things!
I miss you soo much.
& wish you all the happiness in the world and if ever they seem short for you, take all mine you can find.Even more.
Am sorry.
>>REWIND. PLAY. .
..And I aways wanted you to leave me, but you know what, that's more painful! You still seem to be in the better position.You have someone to blame. Me to blame. I have only me.
And pieces of you.
>>REWIND.REWIND. PLAY.
"...They say In every relationship
one always loves more than the other.
I hope you are the latter.never.
For this I cannot take.Can never see you In pain.
I pray we never are to meet this.I pray for the sainity of my only beating heart that now beats a different beat.
amen. "
>>FASTFOWARD.PLAY.
" That song.."do you know" ..you know who first told me about it..told you about it..?"
>>REWIND.REWIND.PLAY.
Ever wished your most desired wish to never come true?
>>FAST FOWARD.PLAY.
...plz dont do this dippsy for the awkwardness would be too much for me to be.And the distance hence forth too large.
>FASTFOWARD.
"The AD man will come and get you some day!!... (followed by roars of laughter and mockery)"
>REWIND.
"..you have all my lemons already. How can i give you any?"
>>REWIND.
"I cant understand why people just dont live in the present. Most relationships are destroyed just cause we think too much. Why think of the future. Work with what you have now."
"I dont know.. you see it sometimes is important to think of the future as well.You cant ignore it.Present is nothing with out it"
" but why cant..."
>>REWIND.PLAY.
"You really hate me dont you?"
"I hate the fact that I hate you."
>>FAST FOWARD.PLAY.
"oops! sorry! blind idiot error!! "
>> FAST FOWARD.
"hello! umm dolly masi hai?"
"kaun?"
"umm dolly massi?"
"wrong numer!"
>>REWIND.PLAY.
"..We are not to close in distance we are not too near in miles, but messages still join out hearts and thoughts bring us smiles.
take care.."
>>FAST FOWARD.PLAY.
"Never let go of your addiction cause thats what keeps us going.."
>>REWIND.REWIND. PLAY.
":/"
":(
?;^(("
"o_O"
":----------}
[LIAR :D]"
>>FAST FORWARD.
"..All I know is its just not fair to him."
The ends of these lips and the
treacly stuff I don't let them speak,
curse me today.
Pressed down upon the other side.
I don't trust them any longer
and they don't trust mine.
Should you come back?
I search that YES among a hundred No's..
I'm still re-considering.
